Mullets

Are mullets not the most badass hair cut?  I mean come on, nothing beats it.  It's all business in the front and a raging party out back. They add instant credibility to whomever sports one.  When you see one you know immediately that that person means business and is gonna get straight to the point but once the work is done is more than ready for a good time.
In sports, mullets tend to bring extra strength and skill to the player.  Their performance is increased tenfold just like Sampson.  Honestly, I don't know why more people don't realize this and utilize this untapped power source.  There are a few notable mullets in sports these days, such as Jared Allen, Evan Longoria and Troy Tulowitzki.  Tulowitzki's mullet powered him to 15 home runs and 40 rbis in the month of september.  The results speak for themself.